Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
