Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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