if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
