My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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