Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
