Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
