Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
