hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
