I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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