he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
