if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
