also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
