i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Randomize
