Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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