We won't sleep together?
she was so not down for the gang bang
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
