her vagine was all disorganized.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
