Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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