Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I love you.
Bad choice
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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