I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
