My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
