so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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