If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
