They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This toilet bowl is my home.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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