My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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