weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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