its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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