Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
