I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
