Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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