Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When are your genitals available?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
