very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
