I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
