You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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