I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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