Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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