omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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