if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
