somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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