man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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