problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
