My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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