she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she told me i tasted like america
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
