i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
