what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
