She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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