I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
