I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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