i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
