She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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