kristin has been a bad kristin
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
